In Search of Happiness

By Dr. Robert C L Law.

Introduction

A common congratulatory message we often hear at wedding and birthday parties is to wish the person(s) involved all the happiness for years to come. But when people are making the toasts, do they really know what happiness is? And can the happiness that they have in mind really be long-lasting ?

Happiness from a Buddhist point of view

The Buddha teaches us that life is dukkha ----- it is unsatisfactory, dislocated and causes pain. This is based on the fact that nothing in life is permanent, that all “good things” in life must come to an end. Wealth, beauty, and good fortune cannot last forever. Many of the things in life that we consider to be sources of happiness are in themselves unstable and fleeting. We certainly enjoy them while they last, but we suffer pain when they are gone. While you may rejoice at winning the Mark Six lottery, there is no guarantee that the happiness associated with the new-found wealth will last. You may be facing a possible fundamental change in life style, and how people around treat you. The stress of trying to hold on to your wealth may not be exactly beneficial to your psychological well-being either. Since there is no end to the spiral of human desires, so there can be no permanent satisfaction.

This, however, does not mean that one should shun the pleasures of life. One can certainly enjoy the various pleasures in life, but the most important thing is to understand their true nature, and not to become attached to them and suffer when they are lost. For example, you may feel confident and excited wearing a new dress to a dinner party where everyone compliments you on the dress, but how long would you be able to maintain this state of mind? Four hours? Six hours? Until the next day? Or until you have worn the dress for the tenth time? You may have experienced the exhilaration of falling in love, but what happens when lovers start to quarrel or even split apart? Real happiness must be able to withstand the test of time and change in circumstances, otherwise they are just pre-cursors to unhappiness. From a Buddhist point of view, real happiness is when someone is able to abide constantly in a serene, calm and happy mood, unaffected by outside circumstances.

To be able to control our emotion so as to remain constantly in a serene and happy frame of mind, one must first develop wisdom--- the ability to see things as they really are, the true nature of things.   

Developing Wisdom

Wisdom in Buddhist’s perspective has more to do with insight than with knowledge. To acquire wisdom, one must have a deep insight into the true nature of all things. We often perceive things as eternal when in fact they are impermanent, as independent entities when in fact they have no independent self but are interdependent on others. This wrong perception often leads us to become attached to things and thus suffer pain.

One must not however, take the impermanent nature of things as a reason for a pessimistic outlook on life. Quite the contrary------the fact that things change means that a seed can become a flower and a young child can become an adult. We may be depressed and unhappy now, but there is always the possibility of change so that we can embrace happiness again. It is all a matter of whether one decides that a cup half-filled with water is really half-full or half-empty. Fortune is often like a turning wheel, what goes up must come down, and similarly, what is down must go up again.

However, it is not enough just having an intellectual understanding of life. One must practise what one knows, and get them ingrained into one’s mind in order to maintain a continuous insightful life. To achieve this, one needs to actively cultivate one’s mind.

Cultivation of the mind

Just as a rice field will become barren if a farmer does not diligently cultivate it , our mind will remain in a deluded state if we do not constantly watch it and not let negative emotions cloud our mind. The way to cultivate our mind is to practise meditation.

The purpose of meditation is not just to sit in some difficult, even painful cross-legged position and think of nothing. A person in meditation should be able to look deeply into his consciousness, watch different forms of emotion and thoughts which arise and disappear and develop a true understanding of the true nature of things. The aim of meditation is to develop a high degree of awareness and understanding of one’s consciousness in relation to the external world.

Besides an introspective analysis of one’s consciousness, one should also try to  develop a sense of loving-kindness and compassion towards all sentient beings during meditation. One can begin with developing such feelings towards one’s closest relatives (one’s parents, siblings, spouse, and children) and gradually extend it to friends, people whom one does not know, then finally one’s enemies. It is important to note that, after the meditation session is over, one should try to maintain such a state of mind for as long as possible as one goes about one’s daily business. In this way, one will radiate loving-kindness and compassion towards all the people around one including even strangers one meets on the street, and act/behave accordingly. Doing charity and voluntary work out of compassion to help other people, in need, is, therefore, a good way to enhance one’s sense of loving-kindness and compassion. People who, perform altruistic acts, will be able to experience the elation that comes from seeing that one has made a difference, however small, in another person’s life. Research by psychologists has shown that the most altruistic members of a population are also those who enjoy the highest sense of satisfaction in life. Try it and you will experience it. 

Living an ethical life

Unless one has renounced the world and become an ascetic living in seclusion, the modern world presents a lot of challenges to one’s emotional stability. To help to stabilise one’s mind, one should have a certain ethical standard in one’s life. A good reference for such ethical standards is from the so-called Noble Eightfold Path venerated by all Buddhists:

1. Right speech ----- refrain from falsehood , slandering, harsh words, and frivolous talk.
2. Right action------refrain from killing, stealing, and infidelity
3. Right livelihood ---- the right kind of occupation that does not cause harm to others.

An ethical way of life gives one a clear conscience, thus minimizing emotional upheaval in one’s mind and make it easier for one to cultivate wisdom and acquire serenity and peace of mind, which is the true state of happiness.

Conclusion

It must be admitted that while one’s life is “smooth-sailing”, it is not difficult to maintain a state of mind which is relatively calm and filled with compassion for others. However, what happens if one is faced with some life crisis--------sudden misfortune or illness, or death, or hideous crimes happening to you or your beloved? Would one still be able to maintain a frame of mind that is serene, calm and full of compassion?

That, in fact, is a real test of one’s level of achievement in cultivating one’s mind. While most people will not be able to reach the level of well-trained Buddhist monks and be able to maintain an absolute mindfulness and clear awareness devoid of obsessions even in the face of adversities, a person who has diligently practised cultivating his mind for any significant period of time would certainly be better equipped to face and resolve various life crises as they come along. This is already a good enough reason for one to start going about cultivating one’s mind now.