When Ch'an Master Hsien-yai was travelling on the road, he met a quarreling couple.
The wife yelled, "You are not a man!"
The husband shouted, "Say that one more time and I will hit you!"
The wife screeched, "So what? You are not a man!"
Listening to the couple quarreling, Master Hsien-yai started shouting, "Come, come and watch! You have to pay to watch a bullfight or cockfight, but you do not need to pay to watch people fight! Come and watch!"
The couple continued quarreling.
The husband threatened, "If you say that one more time, I will surely kill you!"
The wife exclaimed, "Go ahead and kill me! You are not a man!"
Hsien-yai declared, "Oh! It is becoming more and more exciting. They are going to kill each other. Come quickly and watch."
Then a spectator rebuked, "Hey, monk! What are you screaming about? Their quarreling is none of your business. "
Hsien-yai said, "But it is my business. Didn't you hear that they are going to kill each other? If one of them is killed, there will be a need for someone to perform the funeral ceremony. I can make money if I am asked to perform the ceremony."
Then a spectator was appalled and exclaimed, "You are crazy in wanting others to kill just so that you can earn some money!"
Instead of continuing with their quarrel, the couple began to listen to the argument between Hsien-yai and the spectator.
Hsien-yai started to counsel the couple, "Ice, no matter how thick it is, will melt when the sun comes out. A grain of rice, no matter how hard it is, will be softened when cooked over a fire. You are husband and wife because you have a special affinity towards each other. You should be the sun that warms each other, and you should be the fire that helps the other realize his or her potential. I hope that you will learn to live with each other and respect each other. "