QUESTION: What you said so far is very interesting to me.
How do I become a Buddhist?
ANSWER:
Once there was a man called Upali. He was the
follower of another religion and he went to the Buddha in
order to argue with him and try to convert him. But after
talking to the Buddha, he was so impressed that he decided
to become a follower of the Buddha. But the Buddha said:
"Now I am even more pleased and satisfied when the Lord
MII 379
"Make a proper investigation first. Proper investigation
is good for a well-known person like yourself."
says to me: 'Make a proper investigation first.' For if
members of another religion had secured me as a disciple
they would have paraded a banner all around the town saying:
'Upali has joined our religion.' But the Lord says to me:
'Make a proper investigation first. Proper investigation
is good for a well-known person like yourself.'"
ln Buddhism, understanding is the most important thing and understanding takes time. So do not impulsively rush into Buddhism. Take your time, ask questions, consider carefully, and then make your decision. The Buddha was not interested in having large numbers of disciples. He was concerned that people should follow his teachings as a result of a careful investigation and consideration of facts.
QUESTION: If I have done this and I find the Buddha's
teaching acceptable, what would I do then if I wanted
to become a Buddhist?
ANSWER:
It would be best to join a good temple or Buddhist
group, support them, be supported by them and continue to
learn more about the Buddha's teachings. Then, when you
are ready, you would formally become a Buddhist by taking
the Three Refuges.
QUESTION: What are the Three Refuges?
ANSWER:
A refuge is a place where people go when they
are distressed or when they need safety and security. There
are many types of refuge. When people are unhappy, they
take refuge with their friends, when they are worried and
frightened, they might take refuge in false hopes and beliefs.
As they approach death, they might take refuge in the belief
in an eternal heaven. But, as the Buddha says, none of these
are true refuges because they do not give comfort and
security based on reality.
But to take refuge in the
Suffering, the cause of suffering,
This indeed is a safe refuge,
Dp 189-192
Truly these are not safe refuges,
not the refuge supreme.
Not the refuge whereby one is
freed from all sorrow
Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha
and to see with real understanding
the Four Noble Truths,
the transcending of suffering and
the Noble Eightfold Path that leads
to the transcending of suffering,
it is the refuge supreme.
It is the refuge whereby one is
freed from all suffering.
Taking Refuge in the Buddha is a confident acceptance of the fact that one can become fully enlightened and perfected just as the Buddha was. Taking Refuge in the Dhamma means understanding the Four Noble Truths and basing one's life on the Noble Eightfold Path. Taking Refuge in the Sangha means looking for support, inspiration and guidance from all who walk the Noble Eightfold Path. Doing this one becomes a Buddhist and thus takes the first step on the path towards Nirvana.
QUESTION: What changes have taken place in your life
since you first took the three refuges?
ANSWER:
Like countless millions of others over the last 2500
years, I have found that the Buddha's teachings have made
sense out of a difficult world, they have given meaning to
what was a meaningless life, they have given me a humane
and compassionate ethics with which to lead my life and they
have shown me how I can attain a state of purity and
perfection in the next life. A poet in ancient India once wrote
of the Buddha:
To go to him for refuge, to sing his praise, to do
him honour and to abide in his Dhamma is to
act with understanding.
I agree with these words completely.
QUESTION: I have a friend who is always trying to convert
me to his religion. I am not really interested in his religion
and I have told him so but he won't leave me alone. What
can I do?
ANSWER:
The first thing you must understand is that this
person is not really your friend. A true friend accepts you
as you are and respects your wishes. I suspect that this person
is merely pretending to be your friend so he can convert you.
When people try to impose their will on you they are certainly
not friends.
QUESTION: But he says he wants to share his religion with
me.
ANSWER:
Sharing your religion with others is a good thing.
But I suggest that your friend doesn't know the difference
between sharing and imposing. If I have an apple, I offer
you half and you accept my offer, then I have shared with
you. But if you say to me
"Thank you, but I have already eaten"
and I keep insisting that you take half the apple until
you finally give in to my pressure, this can hardly be called
sharing. People like your
'friend' try to disguise their bad
behaviour by calling it
'sharing', 'love' or 'generosity' but
by whatever name they call it, their behaviour is still just
rude, bad manners and selfish.
QUESTION: So how can I stop him?
ANSWER:
It is simple. Firstly, be clear in your mind what
you want. Secondly, clearly and briefly tell him so. Thirdly,
when he asks you questions like
"What is your belief on this matter" or
"Why don't you wish to come to the meeting with
me",
clearly, politely and persistently repeat your first
statement.
"Thank you for the inivation but I would rather
not come".
"Why not?"
"That is really my business. I would rather not come.'
"But there will be many interesting people there."
"I am sure there will be but I would rather not come.
"I am inviting you because I care about you."
"I am glad you care about me but I would rather not come."
If you clearly, patiently and persistently repeat yourself and refuse to allow him to get you involved in a discussion he will eventually give up. It is a shame that you have to do this, but it is very important for people to learn that they cannot impose their beliefs or wishes upon others.
QUESTION: Should Buddhists try to share the Dhamma
with others?
ANSWER:
Yes, they should. And I think most Buddhists
understand the difference between sharing and imposing. If
people ask you about Buddhism, tell them. You can even
tell them about the Buddha's teachings without their
asking. But if, by either their words or their actions, they
let you know that they are not interested, accept that and
respect their wishes. It is also important to remember that
you let people know about the Dhamma far more effectively
through your actions than through preaching to them. Show
people the Dhamma by always being considerate, kind,
tolerant, upright and honest. Let the Dhamma shine forth
through your speech and actions. If each of us, you and I,
know the Dhamma thoroughly, practice it fully and share
it generously with others, we can be of great benefit to
ourselves and others also.